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LOAN SHARK PRISON HOOCH



For many new and returning students, the beginning of the school term is an unpleasant shock to the wallet. Such a shock can go so far as to force well-meaning and eager scholars into relinquishing one of the only things worth living for.


But don’t despair just yet.


From tapping into the long forgotten wisdom of our Depression-era forefathers, the Moot Times Team is proud to provide an easy guide to budget-friendly and delicious homemade cider perfect for the fall season. Just kidding, these are good all year round.


What you need:
  • 1-Gallon Glass Carboy

  • Rubber Stopper

  • Airlock

  • Bottling Siphon

  • Amber Growlers/Bottles

  • 4 L Apple Juice (not from concentrate)

  • 1 Teaspoon Bread/Wine Yeast (3-5 g)


Sanitize equipment using industry-quality cleaners such as Star San, One Step or PBW. Fill carboy with apple juice and then top with yeast. Shake well, seal with rubber stopper and airlock, and place in a dark, room-temperature area (e.g. closet, gym-locker, etc.). After about two weeks, or when the bubbles slow, siphon liquid into bottles. Refrigerate bottles for another week or until the cider is clear.


Enjoy!



Alternatives

Mead:

Substitute juice with 1.75 kg honey stirred into boiling water.




Outlawed Finnish Kilju:

For those on the desperate edges of their budgets: substitute juice with water and sugar.




Prison Hooch:

Taking a one semester or life sentence field-study course? Bag stale bread and cans of fruit cocktail smuggled from the cafeteria. Puncture with about a half-dozen pinholes. Hide under bed or behind inconspicuous concrete block.